Defining Sexual Abuse
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Sexual abuse = any unwanted sexual contact that was physically forced upon the victim or that the victim was blackmailed into, threatened into, or manipulated into in some other way; when the victim does not want sexual activity to take place but is overpowered, physically or mentally; when the perpetrator (usually someone who is in a position of authority, such as a parent, a teacher or a neighbour) does not have full consent.

Frequency and 'severity' of incidents do not matter, as sexual abuse to any extent can be destructive, with consequences that affect the victim long into adulthood. All too often, statements such as these have been heard:

'But he only went up my t-shirt'

'She didn't do anything to me, just made me do things to her that I didn't feel comfortable with'

'It only happened once, a year ago'

These are all destructive thoughts. It doesn't matter who the abuser is, how frequently the incidents occurred, or how 'bad' it was. What's important is to understand that once is bad enough. Any transgression of your physical boundaries without consent is abuse, and must be taken seriously.

Sexual abuse can be anything that a person is coerced or tricked into against their wishes for the other's sexual gratification. It could include being forced to watch sexual acts, pornographic videos or magazines as well as participating in activities.

The tragedy is that in the majority of cases the perpetrator is someone known to the victim and is often a family member or friend. It might be a sibling or cousin, rather than someone in an older generation. It leads to intense, confused feelings about what is appropriate and inappropriate and about the meaning of love and intimacy.